"Not in My Family," Gays The New Minority?

"Not in my family! Oh no. This can't be happening! This is no conversation for the dinner table." Aunt Judy is choking on her chitterlings; Uncle LeRoy is praying that nobody dies or has a stroke as the teenage girl continues to proclaim that she is gay.

This is a prominent Christian family with a strong standing in the community. "Go and get 'dat holy oil so we can cast dem ole demons out 'dis here child," Aunt Judy, evangelist and preacher says. Little Robbie runs to the prayer room to fetch it. The cornbread is getting cold. Some of the 16 relatives sit quietly pretending to digest their food in hopes of not getting caught up in the conversation. A couple of the others can't believe this is actually happening.

When someone in the family announces they are gay in any family of any religion or of no religion at all, the family makes the biggest mistake of all: making it about them. It's not about you; it's about the other person. Because everyone is in shock and dealing with the "not in my family" hysterics, the gay person gets forgotten about while everyone is momentarily imagining how this is going to make themselves and the family look to the public.

Once they get over the initial shock and are able to focus on this "gay proclamation," the conversation will go sorta-kinda like this. "Child you ain't gay, you don't even know what you talking about." Child responds, "Yes I am!" "No you ain't now shut up and don't you let those words come out of ‘ur mouth again. And don't go around telling people dat neither. You just got off the titty . . . (sniff sniff); I can still smell the milk on your breath. Chi’ you don't know notin’." Aunt Judy continues, "As a matter of fact everybody get up right now, wes’a going down on our knees. We need to talk to Jesus. Only Jesus can help 'dis child now."

They all get up as commanded by the family leader, Aunt Judy, and head into the prayer room for hours of praying and lamenting over the child, anointing her with holy oil, casting out demons and praying for the salvation of her soul.

This is not just an issue in Christian communities. It is a Muslim problem, a Jewish problem, a Seventh Day Adventist problem, a people problem. It crosses all social classes, races, ages, and religions. One of my children announced to me that they were gay at age 15, and for sure there was that inner sinking feeling like the ground was opening beneath me. But when I sat down and was still present on my living room sofa, I knew I had to face what I had just heard.

I recently let her go to a Gay Pride parade, hoping it would shock her into a new reality, or back to her senses. She did have some comments about it like, "Why do they have to act so weird? It's not about all that." When she asked me if she could go, my internal response was hell no! I almost went into my Aunt Judy role. But I knew I had to let go and allow her to have this experience. I don't want her to grow up hating herself like I did, never feeling good enough for God or others. Going through family dysfunction then ending up in foster care, I was suicidal most of my life. I remembered it was about her and not me.

Gays tend to get into drugs and "weird" behavior because they have been cast out of society and their own families since history has records of their existence. They feel unacceptable so they put on unacceptable behavior, or outlandish behavior. This is a coping mechanism. Using drugs, excessive tattooing, and bold hair coloring is their way of taking a stand and saying "Yes, I am different whether you like it or not. Kiss off."


Can Gays Be Christians?

Can a gay person rightfully be a Christian, Muslim, or any other religion? From an objective view, NO, they cannot. Why? They can call themselves a Christian, but according to their own rulebook, the Bible, they are not; they exclude themselves from the game (Romans chapter 1:21-32). In order to belong to any group, there are rules and criteria for acceptance. Since the Bible speaks against homosexuality, they can continue to call themselves Christians, but exclude themselves from the game so to speak by participating in gay sex.

Romans 1:21-32 says, “Although they knew God, they did not glorify [Him] as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man--and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things. Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever.

For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due. And even as they did not like to retain God in [their] knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; [they are] whisperers . . ..

Below is a link to a very well written article presenting the Scripture on the subject and the author’s interpretation. If you don't have a Bible, you can use an online Bible, preferably the New King James Version. http://www.soulforce.org/article/homosexuality-bible-gay-christian

This article is written by Dr. Mel White, co-founder of Soul Force. It seems whatever we believe we can find arguments for or against it. I read this article in its entirety, but I am still left with the feeling this author, with good intentions, is trying to make black, white.

What do you think? Perhaps it's time to stop pointing out at all that's wrong with the world and each other, and find ways to coexist. All I can affirm is I am tired of judgment and condemnation in systems of belief that should be teaching God's love.

In matters of sexual sin and any other sin, the emphasis is placed on who and whose you are above what you do or don't do. Works cannot save you; we are saved by "faith and grace.” There is nothing you can do to earn it. Nothing you have done or will do can change that. Christ died for all sins, past, present, and future. So it is a matter of who and whose you are and not what you do or don't do. Even in the Old Testament the emphasis was on Israel, God’s chosen people, and even though they were rebellious, they still remained His chosen people.

Why call me Lord, Lord, and do not the things that I say? (Luke 6:46) In our efforts to defend the God of the Bible and His judgments, we've become hateful and unlike Him in our robes of righteousness, condemning all that is wrong. Let God do the judging; let’s do the loving as Christ requested. It's interesting that being homosexual is not included in the Ten Commandments, but adultery is. Loving your neighbor as yourself is. As a matter of fact, the last two commandments God said, “On these two hangs the whole law," to love the Lord God with all your heart mind and soul, and to love your neighbor as yourself.” Even if your neighbor is gay you are to love him or her.

Most gays are well aware of what their religions teach about homosexuality. If they are not, they should become knowledgeable about it. Don't try and whitewash what you find to make it fit you. I have to believe that a heart full of love for God/Jesus/Muhammad/The Messiah, or whatever you choose to call God, will be honored in God's eyes. All scripture is left to the interpretation of the reader to some degree. If it's important to you, and you believe it's a matter of your salvation, then you should do the work. Not me. You do it for you. Scripture teaches every man should be persuaded in his own mind, and that we should study to show ourselves approved a workman, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Becoming a Christian is like getting married. As “The bride of Christ,” once you get married you want to know and do what pleases your husband. If you do things that make them unhappy or angry, there will be consequences in your relationship. If you just want to make yourself happy, then only you will be happy and the other will start to withdraw their affection from you.

Our religion shouldn't hurt others. Religion should be something that we self-govern. We should not have others lording over us, telling us how to live. Our pastors and church leaders guide us and we can ask for their assistance when we need it, but change should always be between the individual and the God they serve. It should happen in his or her own heart through the Spirit and out of love for God and desire to improve their relationship. Then, his other choices for change become inwardly provoked as they grow. The individual works through his or her shortcomings in their own time. If, over time, the individual finds that he cannot change, then he is covered by grace. If he will not change, then he will have to answer to God. That person’s activity in the church may be limited by leadership and indeed should be.

If I were gay today, I would not call myself a Christian. I would still love the Lord; I would not count myself out of the game, but with prayer and serious soul contemplation would do all I could to be sure my actions aligned with the God I claim to love and belong to. This is wisdom.
I can say I am in recovery, then drink and get high, then go to meetings and say I'm in recovery. That will be true. But to say, "I am clean and sober” would be a lie. I do all I can to stay clean and sober, because the consequences of not doing so would be devastating.


You've just read an excerpt from "Fart in The Wind," Get Rid of Emotional Flatulence. Get your copy on Amazon or www.spiritproductions.us

Vivian Gale, AS., BA., Counselor
Author of Fart in the Wind

Find out more about me and my other products on my official website.

The Law Of Honesty

From Something to Nothingness~

The most worthwhile task one will encounter in his lifetime is to come to know who he or she really is inwardly down to the core of his or her being.

Relating to God, people and all things from that place of authenticity is next.
You can strive for money and things, provisions, degrees, notoriety etc. but until you have made the ultimate journey into self you have gathered naught.

The desire to belong arises from feeling empty. Because of that emptiness we seek to fill it with things, accomplishments, other people and what we deem will make us successful and famous. Once you are famous, you convince yourself that your emptiness if fulfilled, surrounded by awards and dwindling greenbacks your soon left only with memories. People approach you from time to time remembering who you were or the thing that you did and it feels good momentarily but then, you slip back into dusty waning memories denying that emptiness is still your closest ally.

Depression and self loathing commence as your awards fade and tarnish.

Being empty may be one of the most wonderful of experiences one can hope for. For in that emptiness, in that quietude we find the original state before creation was. Only what appeared as emptiness was the fullness of God~

The Law of Honesty beckons us to not deceive ourselves. When we live according to our highest Light, more Light will be given.

Today’s Scripture
1Cor 11:28 For if we judge ourselves, we need not be judged.

Today’s Affirmation
The Law of the Lord is perfect converting the soul. The testimony of the Lord is pure, making wise the simple. Today I will apply the Law of Honesty in my life and it will dispel all self deceit. As I live according to my Highest Light, more Light will be given.

Peace and Blessings on Your Journey into You!
Vivian Gale@ www.viviangale.com

Stop Complaining! 10 Steps to a Happier You!

Is your relationship going downhill? I’d bet if you sit back for a few minutes and think you might just remember constantly complaining about what your significant other is not, or does not do; or do anymore. Don’t worry. It happens to the best of us sooner or later. Once the honeymoon stage is over you start seeing your mate for what they really are. All the things you use to love about him or her become annoyances.

It is of my utmost opinion that women tend to fall into this trap a bit more than men. Why? Because as women we’ve been fed fantasies about what love and marriage should be or are suppose to be like from the time we are children. From our Parents, society, Priest and Pastors, siblings, friends and TV talk shows that get you thinking, you’re getting the short stick. Television Talk Shows and Magazines tend to target women because women are the biggest consumers and audience for there shows and stories. Our “should's” form our beliefs. Need I say, these beliefs are irrational.

Statistics have always shown that the ratio of men to women decreases as we age. Women outlive men and the rate in which people are openly choosing same sex lifestyles is changing the face of our nation and narrowing our choices. Many people today are lonely. It’s hard to imagine anyone being lonely in a world filled with so many people.

Learn to look at the good in your partner and life. I’m sure you can think of many couples that are worse off then you. And focus on what is your reality instead of what you wish was your reality.

Count your blessings; you’re never going to get all your needs met in one person. In fact, it’s not fair to expect one person to live up to all your expectations, wants and desires. That’s too much pressure to put on any relationship. In fact; if you learn to live by this principle “expect nothing from anyone, because nobody owes you a thing. Therefore anything anyone does for you is a gift” you will be much better off.

You certainly can try and be demanding with the gifts you receive as well but where is the love in that? The more pressure we apply to a person through nagging and complaining we disable them from fulfilling what we want because we are weakening them and draining the very strength they need to make us happy. Desire only what comes from a persons’ heart. In America we have so much and keep expecting more and more however and wherever it comes to us. But making someone else responsible for your happiness is always a disaster waiting to happen.
Solution: Model the behavior you want back.

Compliment and thank your partner whenever they do something that makes you happy. Start thanking them for small things like paying a bill or taking out the trash. Let them know how much they’re appreciated. Women tend to set the emotional tone for the relationship. So, start on a positive note and stay on it. Keep your negative thoughts to yourself. Mull over them and think of diplomatic ways to get your message across without complaining. Or just decide to let it go. I challenge you to go 2 days or even a week without complaining about anything your partner says or does and see what a difference it makes. I’m sure you’ll be amazed at the results.

Be grateful. After a couple of days you will become grateful for what you have. Many of my friends are single and lonely. And how I remember the times when I was. Once you’re over 30 it becomes more difficult to find a mate. There are plenty of single people out there, but they have all got scars and are afraid. Fear then is also a hidden factor that causes our complaining. We’re afraid someone’s cheating; lying; or hiding something from us. We become afraid we’re going to lose our lover and thus project that fear into the relationship by questioning; nagging and complaining. You begin to act and feel like a spy. Believe me, it’s a lot of work being this way and you risk getting the very results you fear.
10 Tips to a Happier You
1) Stop Complaining
2) Look At the Bright side
3) Model the behavior you want from your Partner
4) Say thank you and compliment your partner for the things they do
5) Examine your fears. Be sure you are always acting from love and not fear.
6) Give the benefit of the doubt.
7) Be realistic Stop allowing your mind to run into madness, fantasy and obsessive thinking.
8) Take control of your thoughts and your behavior will change.
9) Be Happy!
10) When you find yourself unhappy-STOP!-say to yourself; “I choose happiness in this moment.” Then, let go of the negative thought and replace it with a positive one. One that is true about your situation. And of course, read my book.



Vivian Gale, AS., BA., Counselor, Author of “Fart In The Wind” An Emotional and Spiritual Guide to Effective and Graceful Communication with Anybody. www.viviangale.com

Follow Me . . . Dance With Me!

Follow Me . . . Dance With Me!

Who knows what a day will bring?
Not I said the girl
Not I said the man
Not I said the woman
Not I said the lad.
Not even I know always, said Spirit.

For my actions are dictated, held and formed
By each choice you make.
By the dance of faith you tap with life.
By the leap of hope seeping from you
And the spring of desire finding its freedom
I stand beside you.

Gently I nudge you to what’s best for you
But you always have to make the choice!
This existence is built on desire and choice
Both actions are stirred within the heart
Within the man
Within the woman
Within the boy
Within the girl.

Every choice you make is like
Taking a step onto the grand ballroom floor of life.

Waltz with me and I will elegantly whisk you into
Your great blissful beyond!
The more you follow
All the more will I lead!
The more you will be saturated by my essence
The more I will breathe into you
The more we will dance.
Dance you into the truth of your being!
Here in Now!
~viviangale~ 12/29/09 ©

Been On A Good Date Lately?

I'm reminded in this struggling economy of times in my life that were empty, lonely and barren "dark seasons." Times of sadness and hardships that either tear a person up or bring people together. On the mountaintop we celebrate, but it's in the vallies that transformation takes place.

In my personal life these are the times when I really got with God and myself. Actually more like God getting me to himself for a while without distraction. Those have been some of the hardest and most difficult to endure when resisting them. But once I yielded and accepted this time of peace, grace, and of not knowing…what was in my tomorrows; is when I was able to surrender, let my guards down and trust. Simply trust the same Force that created me to carry me through.

Inspiration and comfort often comes to me in the form of great books in those times. The communion and wisdom birthed is so encompassing and life changing, that I am here to encourage you to be still. Be still with God, get with God, let God get with you. Ask Spirit to guide you and show you what's next. Until then simply breathe…in…out…in…and out. And be comforted knowing that God is standing by. It's time for a date with God.

Fart In The Wind was written during my dates with God, with my own soul and with my own experiences and tears. I've lent you the wisdom I've gained in my "dark seasons," in Fart In the Wind." So, I'm inviting you to spend some time in your "dark seasons" with God. Let Spirit minister to you in a way that only a genuine love interest can. Hitting all you hidden spots and caressing where it hurts, bringing light into the dark corners of uncertainty, today…alone…just you…and God…make the date. Your worth it. There is no better lover.

You can't afford not to read this book. You will see a new you and a new tomorrow before it even comes.

Vivian Gale, aka Freedom Gale, AS., BA

Counselor/Author/Spiritual Mid-Wife

Order Today at http://www.viviangale.com

ARE YOU HAPPY

Vivian Gale, AS. BA., Counselor

AUTHOR OF:

FART IN THE WIND

www.viviangale.com

I ran into an old acquaintance tonight. It was good to see them but when I was driving home, I was thinking they didn't look very happy. I identified with that demeanor so well because I have worn it so often myself. Many people are not happy. Yet, they walk around faking it, or merely existing as if that happiness was their fate for life.

I am here to tell you that your happiness is just a choice away! If you happiness depends on someone else, you are living life all wrong. Regardless of what someone else is or isn't doing or being should not depict your happiness. It took me sometime to learn this. I have to create my happiness. It is up to me and nobody else.

If you are unhappy, look around you. Ask yourself, what or who is it in your life that makes you feel drained, frustrated and confused. Have you identified the object of your unhappiness yet? The source? Yes, good okay. Now examine for a moment your interaction and spoken or unspoken agreements you've made with that person place or thing. Maybe your attached to a job that is draining your spirit, or a house that is sucking all your income or a person that you've made commitments to.

How did you end up with the person place or thing? Was it love at first sight? Did you just have to have it, him or her? Did you think it was the most beautiful thing you ever saw. Did you think you couldn't live without that person, place or thing? However, as the days years and months rolled by, disappointment after disappointment cased your affection to wane. You started seeing that person place or thing in a different light, from a different perspective. Did you think that it would make you happy forever?

Have you been a disappointment as well to that same person, place, thing or situation? Did you disappointment cause you to change who you are in response to the other? If so, what can you do? Are you stuck?

You have choices today. Your happiness is only a choice away! One simple way to find peace in any situation is by applying the Serenity Prayer to it. The Serenity Prayer is a simple little prayer that says,

"God, grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference."

Serenity means peace. You will come to find happiness when you find peace in the midst of all your situations. Is your wife or husband an alcoholic or addict? Is your child pregnant. Do you hate your job or boss. Is your home life driving you mad?

When you have a plan, you feel empowered!

Do you have a plan for change? If not, you need one. Utilizing the Serenity Prayer will help you deal with what is, but having a plan too will empower you to change your circumstances; if you can. Sometime, time has a way of working things out. Sometime, there is nothing you can do but pray then surrender the outcomes. Here the courage to know the difference comes into play. After you've said, "God grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, you will first assess whether or not there is anything you can do to affect change. If you can, you will decide what you can do, when to do it, who should be involved, where it will be carried out and how to do it. Who, what, when, where, why and how.

If you try all you ideas and there is no resolve, then it is time to release and let go. Once you let go you will experience freedom, then happiness with follow.

Staying in negative situations or unhealthy relationships is a trap many of us get caught in. We keep hoping things will change. However, in the process you are committing a form of suicide. Self-care is paramount in being happy. Any relationship that has unhealthy dependencies in it is bound for failure. Determine if it is healthy by asking yourself, why you are in it. How is it affecting you? How are you affecting it?

Did you just "end up" in the situation or deliberately create it? Now, what you accept in your life is a good determinate of how you value yourself. Remember, happiness is a choice away. Today, choose happiness for you. You deserve it. You couldn't do it for a better person.

Sometime we are unhappiness because of things in our past that hurt us. This is something you most likely cannot change. Death, abuse, divorce etc. are common issues that cause anger that lingers. In my book, "Fart in the Wind," I address issues and circumstances that cause unhappiness for us. Then I lead you on a path of self-discovery. You'll learn how your thinking, beliefs, choices and behaviors create and maintain your unhappiness, and you'll learn how to find freedom from the unhappy you, and develop a new and genuinely happy you.

Order Your Copy Today! . . . and find yourself embarking on the road to personal freedom and a new you.

Vivian Gale

AS. BA., Counselor

www.viviangale.com

~Peace on your Journey Home~