Saturday, June 27, 2009


Vivian Gale, AS. BA., Counselor



I ran into an old acquaintance tonight. It was good to see them but when I was driving home, I was thinking they didn't look very happy. I identified with that demeanor so well because I have worn it so often myself. Many people are not happy. Yet, they walk around faking it, or merely existing as if that happiness was their fate for life.

I am here to tell you that your happiness is just a choice away! If you happiness depends on someone else, you are living life all wrong. Regardless of what someone else is or isn't doing or being should not depict your happiness. It took me sometime to learn this. I have to create my happiness. It is up to me and nobody else.

If you are unhappy, look around you. Ask yourself, what or who is it in your life that makes you feel drained, frustrated and confused. Have you identified the object of your unhappiness yet? The source? Yes, good okay. Now examine for a moment your interaction and spoken or unspoken agreements you've made with that person place or thing. Maybe your attached to a job that is draining your spirit, or a house that is sucking all your income or a person that you've made commitments to.

How did you end up with the person place or thing? Was it love at first sight? Did you just have to have it, him or her? Did you think it was the most beautiful thing you ever saw. Did you think you couldn't live without that person, place or thing? However, as the days years and months rolled by, disappointment after disappointment cased your affection to wane. You started seeing that person place or thing in a different light, from a different perspective. Did you think that it would make you happy forever?

Have you been a disappointment as well to that same person, place, thing or situation? Did you disappointment cause you to change who you are in response to the other? If so, what can you do? Are you stuck?

You have choices today. Your happiness is only a choice away! One simple way to find peace in any situation is by applying the Serenity Prayer to it. The Serenity Prayer is a simple little prayer that says,

"God, grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference."

Serenity means peace. You will come to find happiness when you find peace in the midst of all your situations. Is your wife or husband an alcoholic or addict? Is your child pregnant. Do you hate your job or boss. Is your home life driving you mad?

When you have a plan, you feel empowered!

Do you have a plan for change? If not, you need one. Utilizing the Serenity Prayer will help you deal with what is, but having a plan too will empower you to change your circumstances; if you can. Sometime, time has a way of working things out. Sometime, there is nothing you can do but pray then surrender the outcomes. Here the courage to know the difference comes into play. After you've said, "God grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, you will first assess whether or not there is anything you can do to affect change. If you can, you will decide what you can do, when to do it, who should be involved, where it will be carried out and how to do it. Who, what, when, where, why and how.

If you try all you ideas and there is no resolve, then it is time to release and let go. Once you let go you will experience freedom, then happiness with follow.

Staying in negative situations or unhealthy relationships is a trap many of us get caught in. We keep hoping things will change. However, in the process you are committing a form of suicide. Self-care is paramount in being happy. Any relationship that has unhealthy dependencies in it is bound for failure. Determine if it is healthy by asking yourself, why you are in it. How is it affecting you? How are you affecting it?

Did you just "end up" in the situation or deliberately create it? Now, what you accept in your life is a good determinate of how you value yourself. Remember, happiness is a choice away. Today, choose happiness for you. You deserve it. You couldn't do it for a better person.

Sometime we are unhappiness because of things in our past that hurt us. This is something you most likely cannot change. Death, abuse, divorce etc. are common issues that cause anger that lingers. In my book, "Fart in the Wind," I address issues and circumstances that cause unhappiness for us. Then I lead you on a path of self-discovery. You'll learn how your thinking, beliefs, choices and behaviors create and maintain your unhappiness, and you'll learn how to find freedom from the unhappy you, and develop a new and genuinely happy you.

Order Your Copy Today! . . . and find yourself embarking on the road to personal freedom and a new you.

Vivian Gale

AS. BA., Counselor

~Peace on your Journey Home~