Suppressing Negative Emotions

Because of the embarrassment and shame attached to farting, we hold in a lot of crap. We gather painful events and suppress them just like we stuff things in our closets, attics, and basements that we don’t want to throw away. We keep them there for years. But why, why do we put this stuff in storage? We cannot figure out what to do with it, but it must bring us some kind of reward. 

Our attics and basements are filled with old stuff from our past. It may bring fond memories, but holding on to stuff and collecting stuff can easily overcrowd our living space and overcrowd our enjoyable space, just like in the mind.

When our living space/enjoyable spaces become cluttered with old stuff, others seem to recognize it before we do. What happens when they bring it to our attention? We defend our stuff—our baggage. We identify who we are by that old stuff. We cling to it fearing if we let it go we are losing a part of ourselves we need to be happy or content.

For two decades, I carried around a pair of old Thom Mcan shoes I bought when I was seventeen. They were the first things I bought with my paycheck from my first real job. I called them snow stompers. Living on the East Coast, I needed them. Every winter I brought them out and told my children the same story about how long I had them, and how I bought them with my first paycheck from my first job. Then one day about eight years ago, they just disappeared. I suspect my oldest daughter retired them and the stories they carried. Many times, I wish I still had them.

Space is an awesome no-thing. In fact, the universe is composed of more space than actual galaxies, stars, and planets. The earth travels through this space at the rate of 66,700 miles per hour. That is why we feel so inspired at the park or at the waterfront, or in St. Peter’s Cathedral. These places reek of awesome beauty and possibility; they’re also very spacious. 

The more stuff we suppress in our mental and physical space, the more that awesome emptiness drains away, and the more overwhelmed we feel. We need space to enjoy the things that do exist. When you buy a new dress or suit, give one away. Cherish your space more than anything.

Space is an awesome no-thing. That is why we feel so inspired because of it. It is awe-inspiring yet within it exist endless possibilities. It connects to our soul. Keep a clean, spacious consciousness, by not holding on to  junk, such as envy, past hurts, or vengefulness. Even the energy it takes to dislike someone takes up a lot of space in your mind. Negative thought energy disperses inside our mind and body, the same way darkness encompasses the night and pervades everything around it.

Suppressing negative thoughts is like shoving poison deep into your body. Notice the next time a thought comes that you don’t want to deal with; the first reaction is to send it back where it came from, or shove it down inside the body. Pay close attention to how you feel physically the moment you shove that thought back or down inside the body.

There is a noticeable adverse physical reaction, like when you eat something bad and your stomach is in a knot. When I’ve done it, I've actually felt a sensation traveling throughout my body, through my nervous system or blood stream or both, like I ate something I was allergic to. That is one sensation I am well used to.

That feeling is the negative emotion attached to the thought. I learned however, instead of pushing the thoughts and emotion back down, inside the body, I let them come up, one at a time. I visualize the thought moving up, out of the head, and then release it by consciously sending it out of the body. This way it causes no physical harm to the body. The result is a wonderful freedom.

 When I have done this successfully, the thought never returns to me again, ever, with that awful negative emotion attached to it. Try releasing your negative thoughts and feelings this way. If you want them back, you have to go find them in the universe. Good luck with that! Once you set that thought and feeling free, thereby diffusing them, they are gone forever.

Imagine that! If you experience it again, simply repeat the procedure, but this time make sure you have allowed the thought to fully surface before releasing it. For me, once has always been enough. Of course you will think of the situation from time to time, but it will seem like a lifetime ago, and it will have no emotional effect.

You’ve just read an excerpt from Fart in The Wind, Get Rid of Emotional Flatulence. Get your copy today at www.viviangale.com and on Amazon. Available in Paperback and on Kindle.

Learn more in my blogs/articles and books! Feel free to contact me if you need additional guidance on your journey to the freedom and transformation applied spirituality brings.

Vivian Gale., AS, BA, Counselor

Author of “Fart in the Wind”, Get Rid of Emotional Flatulence

www.viviangale.com © 10/2015

This article may not be redistributed in full or in part without express permission from the author or publisher. 

Stop Complaining! 10 Steps to a Happier You!

Is your relationship going downhill? I’d bet if you sit back for a few minutes and think you might just remember constantly complaining about what your significant other is not, or does not do; or do anymore. Don’t worry. It happens to the best of us sooner or later. Once the honeymoon stage is over you start seeing your mate for what they really are. All the things you use to love about him or her become annoyances.

It is of my utmost opinion that women tend to fall into this trap a bit more than men. Why? Because as women we’ve been fed fantasies about what love and marriage should be or are suppose to be like from the time we are children. From our Parents, society, Priest and Pastors, siblings, friends and TV talk shows that get you thinking, you’re getting the short stick. Television Talk Shows and Magazines tend to target women because women are the biggest consumers and audience for there shows and stories. Our “should's” form our beliefs. Need I say, these beliefs are irrational.

Statistics have always shown that the ratio of men to women decreases as we age. Women outlive men and the rate in which people are openly choosing same sex lifestyles is changing the face of our nation and narrowing our choices. Many people today are lonely. It’s hard to imagine anyone being lonely in a world filled with so many people.

Learn to look at the good in your partner and life. I’m sure you can think of many couples that are worse off then you. And focus on what is your reality instead of what you wish was your reality.

Count your blessings; you’re never going to get all your needs met in one person. In fact, it’s not fair to expect one person to live up to all your expectations, wants and desires. That’s too much pressure to put on any relationship. In fact; if you learn to live by this principle “expect nothing from anyone, because nobody owes you a thing. Therefore anything anyone does for you is a gift” you will be much better off.

You certainly can try and be demanding with the gifts you receive as well but where is the love in that? The more pressure we apply to a person through nagging and complaining we disable them from fulfilling what we want because we are weakening them and draining the very strength they need to make us happy. Desire only what comes from a persons’ heart. In America we have so much and keep expecting more and more however and wherever it comes to us. But making someone else responsible for your happiness is always a disaster waiting to happen.
Solution: Model the behavior you want back.

Compliment and thank your partner whenever they do something that makes you happy. Start thanking them for small things like paying a bill or taking out the trash. Let them know how much they’re appreciated. Women tend to set the emotional tone for the relationship. So, start on a positive note and stay on it. Keep your negative thoughts to yourself. Mull over them and think of diplomatic ways to get your message across without complaining. Or just decide to let it go. I challenge you to go 2 days or even a week without complaining about anything your partner says or does and see what a difference it makes. I’m sure you’ll be amazed at the results.

Be grateful. After a couple of days you will become grateful for what you have. Many of my friends are single and lonely. And how I remember the times when I was. Once you’re over 30 it becomes more difficult to find a mate. There are plenty of single people out there, but they have all got scars and are afraid. Fear then is also a hidden factor that causes our complaining. We’re afraid someone’s cheating; lying; or hiding something from us. We become afraid we’re going to lose our lover and thus project that fear into the relationship by questioning; nagging and complaining. You begin to act and feel like a spy. Believe me, it’s a lot of work being this way and you risk getting the very results you fear.
10 Tips to a Happier You
1) Stop Complaining
2) Look At the Bright side
3) Model the behavior you want from your Partner
4) Say thank you and compliment your partner for the things they do
5) Examine your fears. Be sure you are always acting from love and not fear.
6) Give the benefit of the doubt.
7) Be realistic Stop allowing your mind to run into madness, fantasy and obsessive thinking.
8) Take control of your thoughts and your behavior will change.
9) Be Happy!
10) When you find yourself unhappy-STOP!-say to yourself; “I choose happiness in this moment.” Then, let go of the negative thought and replace it with a positive one. One that is true about your situation. And of course, read my book.



Vivian Gale, AS., BA., Counselor, Author of “Fart In The Wind” An Emotional and Spiritual Guide to Effective and Graceful Communication with Anybody. www.viviangale.com